Individual Counseling

Though I believe everything is rooted in relationships, much of the work most people need to do is within themselves. That comes before being able to communicate with a significant other or embrace intimacy. If you find yourself constantly arguing, feeling isolated, or having a hard time making friends, what you really might need to do is address cognitive distortions.

A person who struggles with distortional thinking will experience adverse feelings, exhibit behaviors that cause conflict or self-sabotage, and face consequences that are unnecessary. Everything a person does begins with a thought (conscious or subconscious) and thoughts will determine their feelings, behaviors, and consequences— good or bad. In fact, the way a person thinks actually affects the structure of the brain. Neurological pathways are created by the brain and inform the way the person thinks—healthy or not.

The neurological pathways of the brain are what produce a person’s worldview, better known as our second nature way of thinking. For example, if a person is a victim of childhood abuse and continues thinking of himself or herself as a victim, they might habitually engage the world from a victim stance. This type of person will sabotage relationships, their own joy, will tend to be defensive, and will lack the ability to connect with others due to a lack of vulnerability. By using different methods in counseling, a person can learn to examine the way they think, change the purpose of triggers; connect past hurts to current behaviors, and move on to a happier, healthier life.

In short, individual therapy is all about your experience.

Frequently asked questions:

Q: Do I have to come in with a clear goal?

A: No. it would take a remarkable amount of self-awareness to begin therapy knowing what’s actually at the heart of things. For most people, their goal is simply to feel better. They don’t know what they need to do… if they did, they probably wouldn’t need a therapist.

People come in with a really surprising amount of trauma they’ve lived with for years, finally saying they need help. It’s common for people to come in with no idea about what I’ll find. A major part of my job is to help them discover how they got to where they’re currently at… and then how to work themselves out of it.

Q: Do you give homework?

A: Yes, and this is some of the work that clients find the most fun.  One of my favorites is the checklist of cognitive distortions. Early in our work, I’ll have them review it, and identify the ones they resonate with and write down examples.

For example: one of them is fortune telling. You’ve probably heard it before: “I’m not gonna get hired for this job.” “I just know that if I tell my spouse about this thing they’re going to be really upset.” In fortune telling, a person jumps to conclusions, acting as though they’re the facts, the conclusions they jump to are usually catastrophized, as well. Once we have examples, clients bring it to the session to discuss with me so we can work on challenging them together.

I also frequently recommend a few books and TED Talks. So many clients say how helpful it is to see their own experiences affirmed by writers and speakers.